I was just thinking about my mom. Our Nancy (fancy pants) who died of cancer almost 11 years ago. She had told my sisters exactly what she wanted as far as funeral arrangements, and it really turned out to be beautiful. She wanted to be cremated and scattered in the Atlantic. She wanted her three daughters to scatter her from a boat, with just a minister, and a bagpiper playing amazing grace. It was early April and a little difficult to find the appropriate boat for our purposes, but the funeral director gave us the number of this great guy who lived on Prudence Island, and he had a skiff that he kept immaculate. (It was what he used as his transportation to work on the mainland every day).



As far as the bagpiper goes, we were lucky that he took the job, considering there was a bagpiper competition the very same day which he had to miss. He was a redheaded Irish, and sweet as could be. Nancy would have adored him.


We met on a dock near Colt State Park, and the bagpiper played as we motored out. We anchored and opened the wooden box that contained my moms ashes. Mom's ashes were actually in a plastic bag inside the box, which might sound tacky, but I was grateful since I was scared to death I wouldn't get the ashes in the water. Pouring from a bag was less intimidating. The minister said a prayer, and the Bagpiper played amazing grace. We took turns pouring moms ashes into the bay. We were also taking turns placing pink flowers in the water. We had bought some tulips, and plucked a few pink flowers from each of the arrangements friends had sent. After my turn, I turned and looked at the water, and I could see the pink flowers being pulled out to sea by the current. I told my sisters to look. We were all in awe. Without realizing it we had made it possible to see where our moms ashes would flow. There was a stream of pink flowers that fanned out at the end. It was breathtaking. If we didn't have people arriving for a memorial service at the Colt State Park I think we would have watched every last flower drift out of sight.


We did eventually leave and meet up with friends and family at the outdoor chapel in Colt State Park. We had a lovely service. The bagpiper played, and the minister did a lovely sermon. He added the Hopi prayer at our request. I will post it below because it is so appropriate to the send off fancy pants had designed for herself. One of my sisters friends had sent a condolence card with the prayer on it, and we had to have it read. It was perfect. My brother in law read the eulogy I had written, because I didn't think I could get through it. He did an amazing job, I couldn't stop crying. His voice was cracking, and I knew he was trying not to cry but he made it through so gracefully.

I hope our Fancy Pants was there to see how beautifully her plan went.

Heres the Hopi Prayer so you can see how appropriate it was:

A Hopi Prayer
Do not stand at my grave and weep; I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond glints on snow.I am the sunlight on ripened grain.I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight. I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry; I am not there, I did not die.
by Mary E. Frye